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JE - Precautions - Pin

Title: Precautions
Pairing: Yamashita Tomohisa / Akanishi Jin
Rating: PG-13
Author Notes: Dedicated to mysteryflavor because she gave me the idea of condom hijinx Pin XD IDEK, there was discussion about how there’s never condoms in JE fic? THIS IS WHY OK. Anyway, umm, enjoy?



Precautions

"I'm not doing it without a condom," Jin says and pouts.

"But!" YamaPi wails, "But why? I don't have any! And we're both virgins and I promise that I don't have diseases."

Jin wants to say something about how he bets that Takki has plenty of diseases to share and so naturally YamaPi must have them too, but resorts to keep up his pouting and cross his arms over his chest. They sit on the couch, then, both pouting and pretending to ignore each other. But it's not very convincing because they keep sneaking looks at each other and they also both still have raging hard-ons.

"Okay, I give up!" YamaPi says and pulls his boxers and pants up from his ankles ("What are you doing?" Jin shrieks, "Don't get dressed!"), then proceeds to put on a shirt, a jacket and shoes (he still had been wearing socks). "I'm going to buy condoms now, so we can have sex. Be right back!"

*



Approximately an hour later YamaPi and Jin stand in Jin's bedroom next to the bed, a pile of condom packages on one of Jin's pink pillows.

“So,” Jin muses, “Which ones do you want to use?”

"I don’t know, there were so many different ones!" YamaPi whines, "and I just couldn't decide, so I called Ryo and he said we're too stupid to use them anyway, so then I just bought every kind."


*


When after another painful ten minutes ("Why must you do this to me?" YamaPi complains, "I'm going to explode!" -- "Isn't that the whole point?" Jin asks, confused) they have stacked the condom packs according to color and size and decide that a cherry-flavored medium-sized long endurance condom might be a good start.

"What are you waiting for?" YamaPi asks, "Put it on me."

"Put it on you?" Jin shakes his head vehemently. "I'm so not going to play the girl!"

YamaPi giggles. Jin glares and when YamaPi giggles some more, Jin tells him that his girly giggle proves he should be the girl in this sexual encounter. Pi throws a pillow at him.

"Stop it!" Jin cries, "You're mixing up the condoms!"



*



"I have an idea!" Jin says and his whole face lights up, "We'll take turns trying to put them on and whoever gets it done first gets to top."

YamaPi almost trips over himself trying to get to the first pack of condoms.



*


Sadly, Jin already fails at opening the package. No matter how he pokes it or attacks it with his sharp fingernails, it just won't come open. He pouts, and with a huff turns to look at his best friend. YamaPi is full of glee, because he manages to open it on first try. The condoms, however, don't cooperate as easily.

When he tries to put on the first one, he fumbles and fumbles until it flies out of his hands and on the floor. Jin insists on using a new one, because he will not have sex with a dirty condom.

The second one doesn't stay on.

The third one feels kind of funny and YamaPi realizes it is ribbed. YamaPi doesn't want his condom to be ribbed.

The fourth one rips in half.

The fifth one is too tight.

("Extra-super-large is too tight?" Jin asks with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up!" YamaPi shrieks, "It's not my fault that my penis is so big!")

The sixth smells funny, according to Jin, so he throws it away. Only his aim is wrong, so he ends up throwing it at the window and it sticks there and slides down slowly with a smacking noise. YamaPi and Jin dissolve into a fit of giggles.

*

“We fail,” Jin says gravely.

“Yes, we do,” YamaPi agrees.

There is a moment of silence.

“Well,” YamaPi says and his face brightens considerably, “We could ask Ryo to help us!”

Comments

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IS THAT A HINT THERE IS PINYO IN THE CONTINUATION? 8DDD /iz shot

Oh my God ~*~*~their stupid will eat your soul~*~*~

I love them I really do, but sometimes I get a headache, one induced by Pin in the way that I can only read more and know I will end up lmao because the alternative is to burst into tears.

sadljLKSDJdad;,lsd Pi's superpeen!!1 Why is it I imagine a cape and themesong whenever it is mentioned now? D:!

And only Jin and Yamapi would have a race to see who could get a condom on quicker to decide who tops. XDDDD

ILUSM2U~~~ ♥
aksjdhalksjd FIRST COMMENT YESSSSSSSS *_*v *completely unintentional ftw*
asdf rofl xD *dies*

("Extra-super-large is too tight?" Jin asks with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up!" YamaPi shrieks, "It's not my fault that my penis is so big!")


XDDD omfg hahaha i can;t stop laughing :P no wonder they don;t use an condom xD;;

(oh if you posted this at news_jpop then please delete my comment after reading or something or replying if you do xD;; else my friend will kill me >__>)
Wheeee I am glad you like it :D :D

And I didn't post it at news_jpop, so you should be ok ♥
("Extra-super-large is too tight?" Jin asks with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up!" YamaPi shrieks, "It's not my fault that my penis is so big!")


HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA - OH KOREA, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥ ♥ ♥ WHEN I FEAR THERE IS NO FIC TO BE HAD, THERE IS PIN RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT - KORETE DESTINY?

ALSO, “Well,” YamaPi says and his face brightens considerably, “We could ask Ryo to help us!”

YYYYYYYYY. I AGREE WITH YOU PI. GOOD THINKING.
I LOVE YOU MOAAAAAR ♥ AND I AM GLAD TO DELIVER.

There has been NO GOODFIC AT ALL lately and so I resort to writing fic for myself. FAIL! BUT AS LONG AS IT MAKES OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY :D :D

YamaPi has his moments. SOMETIMES. ON ACCIDENT XD
"Shut up!" YamaPi shrieks, "It's not my fault that my penis is so big!"

DIESSSSS. ♥

OH GOD RYOPIN~ DON'T JUST LEAVE IT HANGING LIKE THAT
*GLEEEEEEEE*

I WILL TRY TO NOT LEAVE IT HANGING FOR TO LONG OK? ♥

Thanks for reading!!
It was cute. I liked it. ^^
Eee, thank you!
DIES.

PRZ TO SAY THARZ MOAR.
OF COURSE!
THERE IS ALWAYS MOAR

YOU RAWK!
Wheee THANK YOU ♥
YAY the suggestion of possibly threesome which i bet the DOU S Ryo would love to join... for fucks of course! <33333
Hahaha OF COURSE :D :D
Ryo would never turn down a hot threesome!

Thanks for reading ♥
("Extra-super-large is too tight?" Jin asks with raised eyebrows.

"Shut up!" YamaPi shrieks, "It's not my fault that my penis is so big!")


NRGGGH!!!!! How did you manage to pull it off such it's so wonderfully stupid, silly, adorable, funny and... ok so maybe it lacks in the sex factor. BUT THIS IS SO MUCH LOVE! AND RYO! *knocks head against wall* RYO RYO RYO! PIN PIN PIN! CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS! (apparently once Daite Senorita gets stuck in your head you start saying things in threes) XD

*squee*
I SAY SAYING THINGS IN THREES IS A++++++++


Pin are so dumb, that EVERYTHING they (try to) do is hilarious by default. Which is why I love them so dearly. And Ryo does too, even if he doesn't want to admit it XDDD

Thanks for reading ♥
OMG LOL
And this is what you get when you have two idiots trying to get it on ♥
I love how they turn to Ryo for help about sex. XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Two idiots getting it on is the best thing ever, don't even lie! :D :D :D
Ryo clearly is their SEXGOD :D :D :D

Thanks for reading ♥
EEEEEEE *GLEES*

I AM GLAD YOU LIKE IT MY LOVE ♥
And I'm also glad this fic did NOT get lost/stolen at work xDDDD

Jin's logic is A+++++, I THINK WE ALL AGREE. But Pi's is too, I mean MONSTERPEEN HELLO. It's a difficult decision!!1

I LOVE YOU MOAR! ♥
kl;ja;lfkasdf

This is so beautiful ;lakjsdf;lasdf THEY ARE SO DUMB I LOVE YOU.

("Why must you do this to me?" YamaPi complains, "I'm going to explode!" -- "Isn't that the whole point?" Jin asks, confused

*CHOKED*

MARRY ME.

WE ARE ALREADY MARRIED LIKE TEN TIMES, BUT OK. I SAY YES

:D :D :D :D

ILUMOAAAAAAR

And I also love Pin's utter dumb cause they are SO LOVEABLE AND WTF ösdfgöf *dies*

♥ ♥ ♥
OH GOD I LOVE YOU :DD
I LOVE YOU TOO ♥ ♥ ♥
Yes, go ask Ryo, I'm sure he'll be more than glad to help xD
A neat dose of of giggles in the morning xD
Hahahaha I'm 99% sure he'd be willing to help out :D :D
Thanks for reading ♥ ♥
will there be a SEQUEL???with RYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!??
Since there seems to be a lot of DEMAND for it, I'll just go ahead and say YES :D :D ♥
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